Crown Heights, Brooklyn [TMN] Last Shobbis afternoon, While children went to shobbis party's and mothers pushed there baby's in strollers no where, A Crown Heights Shomrim Dispatcher received a unusual call. The caller a Crown Heights Resident with a Expired Bal Tashuva Visa From Indiana, stated to the dispatcher who was trying to beat a game of chess with his 95 year old grand mother at the time and told the caller to hold on while he went to get more chulent from the kitchen, When he came back to the phone he notified the caller he was out of chulent and asked the caller what her emergency was.
In response the caller told the dispacher "I cant believe that I had to walk all the way to 770 Eastern Parkway Lubavitcher world head quarters, Just to barrow a quarter from a homeless lady who was sleeping and trying to keep shobbis for a few minutes, In a ally near the location". This was Just to report that she was walking down Kingston avenue, When she heard a group of drunk Co ed local rebelus teens driving a car down the street blasting the song Just One Shobbis by world renowned vocalist Mordecai Ben David.
When TMN News Asked Mordecai Ben David what he thought about about the incedent he responded "I dont Know What Your Talking About, I Do Keep Shobbis!"
"It was a remarkable site" said one witness to the what she thinks was possibly a stolen "Mitzva Tank Stolen From Iraq" but couldn't be sure because she "had a little to much lechiams and couldn't remember what state the driver was from". Police are investigating this as a possible stolen vehicle, With a out of state driver, And are not ruling out the possibile charges of playing a Mordecai Ben David CD on Saturday, Witch according to a close friend of one of the rabbis in the community.
71 Precents Sargent Mike Simon, Who couldn't remember the Rabbis name, Told TMN News in a Exclusive interview "it clearly states on the CD cover that you cant play the CD on Saturday I was told". And then went on to talk about how he went to Dokun Donuts one day and they were closed, Almost resulting in him quiting his job.
As TMN News contued the investigation, TMN News went on to find the dispatcher on call that day. When our TMN News Reporter Called Up the shomrim hot line, And asked for Menachem Mendel, The name we got from the shomrim report. They responded by asking our reporter witch one are you talking about? And went on to tell us about the new superman capes there getting for all there "Hero patrol units"
The NY PD and Shomrim of Crown Heights are still looking for clues in this case, And are asking for your help. By asking all the members of the community for there support. And as a result of our exclusive interview with the 71 precent Sargent. The 71 Precent has issued a mandatory petition to move all Dokin Donuts into the 71 percent station house. "This is in a effort to save money on gas" Police capten of the 71 told TMN News.
And shomrim will be selling raffle tickets to fund there new perches of custom made Shomrim super man capes Shomrim spokes person for the hearing and inpeard told us he couldn't hear us when we asked him what was the idea behind the superman capes, But told us "I saw them when he was a kid and they were awesome!".
Our calls to to the Shomrim spokesman for the not hearing inpeard were not returned. But in a exclusive eye witness report by a MinYan Amature News Reporter with No prier education witch he blamed on lack of money from our stupid president Hillery Clinton! (Witch after much investigation by TMN News Team we found out he went to some yeshiva in Brooklyn) The Amature Reporter told TMN News he "saw the shomrim dispatcher with the lady that called shomrim from 770 on shobbis and that there happily married with 16 children and live on president street where Hillery Clinton was born"
*After further investigation of this report, TMN News found out this report is not true and has sent apology letter to the Shomrim dispatcher Mencham Mendel and in response got a free Shomrim Cape, Now For Sale on EBay.
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